Alienating Femininity: Psychological Tragedy with Modern Women

The world around us is a walking-talking museum, displaying as diverse collections as the number of people. This museum is entirely different from deadly-boring brick-and-mortar ones. And the best thing about this is that you actually get to deal with the craziest of characters that even Wikipedia is scared of mentioning.

I have been investigating a ‘special’ kind of species for a while now. This category is of women who have somehow assumed a persona that doesn’t come naturally to them. I don’t know what compels them to behave in such a manner. All I can say is that it’s a social and psychological tragedy.

Spill the beans, now. You must be thinking. 

Okay, so let me not keep you waiting anymore. It’s the woman-with-Y-Chromosome.

What?

Yes. The women who live in denial!

Not able to understand? Now I’m sure you had definitely bunked your science classes in school.

However, no worries! Let me explain this to you.

It’s the presence and absence of Y chromosome that determines the male and female sex. Presence of Y identifies with male sex and absence of it with female sex. (Refer to Wikipedia, should you require more details.)

But who exactly are the women with a Y-Chromosome? The question arises.  

Women-with-Y-Chromosome are those who couldn’t accept being born as females (with X chromosome) and try to behave like men in whatever they do. They are either ashamed of their femininity or are not very comfortable with it.

I’m sure each one of us, men included, has come across this special species of women. These are those women who miss no chance to emulate the traits of men. And not to forget they keep boasting they are as strong as men.

If not you, I have definitely come across such women. And let me also tell you that they have trampled their femininity into the ground, in an effort to be equal to men and exhibit masculine traits. They forget that they are women.

The Tragedy

Women-with-Y-Chromosome have somehow dominated the male’s role. They are too fascinated with what men do, the way they carry themselves and of course their masculine traits. Well, if this fascination results in some kind of association, it is absolutely natural. However, if it is other way around, they end up becoming artificial-men.

In a desperate attempt to being manlier than the men, unknowingly and unintentionally, they become a party to reinforcing the superiority of the masculine traits. It’s a social tragedy. And they lose confidence in their femininity. As a result, it becomes hard for them to fit in either of the two categories – men and women. It’s a psychological tragedy.

So, do I mean to say it is bad to display masculine traits? Is it wrong for women to stay strong? All she should do is make and raise children?

No.

As far as I think, both men are women are constructed of two energies – masculine and feminine. However, when women migrate more towards masculine side, they spoil innate delicateness of their womanliness. It’s okay to have fascination towards masculine traits. However, it’s more important to accept yourself as you are. There is no harm in being a woman and behave like one.

Remember the whole world revolves around womanly qualities. Here I’m, not talking about feminine behavior which is socially regulated and policed. I’m talking about traits like love, compassion, empathy, sensitivity, patience, tenderness and forgiveness.

Both men and women can exhibit these traits, but these are influenced by biological factors to a considerable extent. Love, tenderness and sensitivity come naturally to women. Femininity is a special gift to them, which in no way is a weaker trait. A Woman who emulates masculinity will never truly be a man. She would be a hybrid kind who is neither a man nor a woman.

So, there is a need to understand that men and women are tuned differently. There is a natural difference between them. Womanly traits carry a fundamental value that’s more than necessary for sustenance of the society we live in.

So, shed this notion that you are being born with Y-chromosome and accept yourself unapologetically. We are neither superior, not inferior. We are women.

Stepping into 30’s and Still Unmarried! Selfish and Horrid Career Witches

Well, I’ve certainly made my blog a cribbing platform. I can use it even at midnight to pour out my frustration and share with hundreds of people out there.

Admitting that I’m moving towards this particular age bracket while still unmarried, I want to believe that I’m not to be blamed for my ‘single’ status.

Well, before moving on, let me clarify that by ‘single’ I mean a woman who has never took wedding vows or signed a contract with any man (or another woman) in front of hundreds of people or law. The category doesn’t include those who have divorced their husbands for xyz reasons.

Of course, I haven’t set these standards. I think that’s what ‘being single’ means socially. It means a person who has never been married. (Correct me, if I’m wrong.)

The question of marriage keeps haunting me for hours almost every day. I live with this naked sword always hanging over my head ready to tear me apart, as if I carry the virus for a deadly disease and killing me is the only way out to safeguard the society. And I face all this because I’m reluctant to conform.

My whole existence has stuck around between feeling guilty of bringing restless nights to my parents and explaining to people that I am not fascinated to battle face-to-face with society’s strongest and most important institution. It’s just that I want to be the way I want.

I’m sure all single women out there can easily relate to what I’m saying. In fact, turning 30 and being single is one of the biggest challenges. We are considered, selfish and horrid career witches who are either greedy to make tonnes of money or are already enjoying too much attention of male colleagues.

I’ve been spending some time lately pondering seriously on this topic. And I think that I suffer this fate because I’m neither a martyr nor Madonna.

Previously, a woman was either expected to play a martyr or Madonna. But a modern woman is expected to play both the roles at the same time. And in a desperate search for approval from everyone, she dons a superwoman mask, which does nothing but sabotages her vital self.

Who is to be blamed?

Women like me, because we want to live our lives our way?

Or our parents who spend a big chunk of their hard earned money on getting  us the best possible education, so that we could become independent (only financially independent) individuals but behave like a martyr whenever the time comes (Here I'm referring to getting married just because they want their daughters to).

Or the men who want superwomen, who can earn money, take care of their husbands’ families, produce and raise children and support them when their lives go off track single handedly?

It’s a hard fact but more than anyone, I think, parents are responsible for such a situation. They want us to be well educated and independent, and at the same time expecting us to do socially-acceptable things without thinking too much. Because good girls do what they are told to!

What an irony – they raise Madonnas expecting them to play martyrs!

And when men see this happening in their own households, how do you expect a change in their behavior? Why shouldn’t they enjoy a superior status?

The tradition continues. A majority of population believes in doing what they have seen happening in their own houses.

And who raises them? Women, of course!

The plight of a modern woman is no one else but the other than women who believe that:

§  A pious woman is obedient. (They are the ones who compel us to adhere to social norms, no matter how senseless they are.)

§  Her main job is to enter a ready-made set-up and fix someone else’s life (husband’s).

§  A woman is complete only when she produces children.

By saying this, do I mean that women should be rebels or shouldn’t get married or begin a family?

No.

It’s all about personal choices. It only means – let women choose the way they want to be. Those who want to get married let them. And those who don’t want to, don’t make their lives hell.

Let them decide for themselves.