Stepping into 30’s and Still Unmarried! Selfish and Horrid Career Witches

Well, I’ve certainly made my blog a cribbing platform. I can use it even at midnight to pour out my frustration and share with hundreds of people out there.

Admitting that I’m moving towards this particular age bracket while still unmarried, I want to believe that I’m not to be blamed for my ‘single’ status.

Well, before moving on, let me clarify that by ‘single’ I mean a woman who has never took wedding vows or signed a contract with any man (or another woman) in front of hundreds of people or law. The category doesn’t include those who have divorced their husbands for xyz reasons.

Of course, I haven’t set these standards. I think that’s what ‘being single’ means socially. It means a person who has never been married. (Correct me, if I’m wrong.)

The question of marriage keeps haunting me for hours almost every day. I live with this naked sword always hanging over my head ready to tear me apart, as if I carry the virus for a deadly disease and killing me is the only way out to safeguard the society. And I face all this because I’m reluctant to conform.

My whole existence has stuck around between feeling guilty of bringing restless nights to my parents and explaining to people that I am not fascinated to battle face-to-face with society’s strongest and most important institution. It’s just that I want to be the way I want.

I’m sure all single women out there can easily relate to what I’m saying. In fact, turning 30 and being single is one of the biggest challenges. We are considered, selfish and horrid career witches who are either greedy to make tonnes of money or are already enjoying too much attention of male colleagues.

I’ve been spending some time lately pondering seriously on this topic. And I think that I suffer this fate because I’m neither a martyr nor Madonna.

Previously, a woman was either expected to play a martyr or Madonna. But a modern woman is expected to play both the roles at the same time. And in a desperate search for approval from everyone, she dons a superwoman mask, which does nothing but sabotages her vital self.

Who is to be blamed?

Women like me, because we want to live our lives our way?

Or our parents who spend a big chunk of their hard earned money on getting  us the best possible education, so that we could become independent (only financially independent) individuals but behave like a martyr whenever the time comes (Here I'm referring to getting married just because they want their daughters to).

Or the men who want superwomen, who can earn money, take care of their husbands’ families, produce and raise children and support them when their lives go off track single handedly?

It’s a hard fact but more than anyone, I think, parents are responsible for such a situation. They want us to be well educated and independent, and at the same time expecting us to do socially-acceptable things without thinking too much. Because good girls do what they are told to!

What an irony – they raise Madonnas expecting them to play martyrs!

And when men see this happening in their own households, how do you expect a change in their behavior? Why shouldn’t they enjoy a superior status?

The tradition continues. A majority of population believes in doing what they have seen happening in their own houses.

And who raises them? Women, of course!

The plight of a modern woman is no one else but the other than women who believe that:

§  A pious woman is obedient. (They are the ones who compel us to adhere to social norms, no matter how senseless they are.)

§  Her main job is to enter a ready-made set-up and fix someone else’s life (husband’s).

§  A woman is complete only when she produces children.

By saying this, do I mean that women should be rebels or shouldn’t get married or begin a family?

No.

It’s all about personal choices. It only means – let women choose the way they want to be. Those who want to get married let them. And those who don’t want to, don’t make their lives hell.

Let them decide for themselves.